– I vow that my total viewings of “A Christmas Story” – the greatest Christmas movie every made in which a leg lamp plays a prominent role — will exceed the total number of miles I run in the month of December. And I plan to run a lot.
– Mo and I were named Volunteers of the Month for our tireless efforts to scare the bejeezies out of elderly people by driving them around town. At first I was quite proud, but later found out that it’s only because I had turned in one of my reports in Farsi, and they were fearful of a terrorist attack. Oh, well. I’m keeping my certificate anyhow. I vow never to turn in another report using Farsi.
– I vow not to eat mangos. Or to dress up like Mango.
– I vow never again to say “You too” to a 7-11 clerk who tells me to have a nice day. In the first place, I don’t think it’s their place to evaluate me in 10 seconds and deem that I should be having a nice day. I enjoy being cranky and I don’t appreciate their advice. In the second place, I really, really DON’T want them to have a nice day. They’re charging me a buck twenty nine for a Big Gulp? I want them to suffer.
– I vow to be a nicer person. (Damn. I think I already blew it.)
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